I know that I’ve said that I’ve never been in a real relationship before. I’m gonna take that back.

Because I used to be in a pretty serious relationship with Taylor Swift.

I mean, this was years ago, when I was still rocking a neon green camisole under EVERY SINGLE shirt I wore, back when I swore by frosted, flavored lip gloss and sideways ponytails. And also wearing colored tights under my gym uniform. Ahhh, middle school. Good times.

Taylor (yes, we are on a first name basis) and I first became involved after the release of her album Fearless in 2008, and while I spent lots of time seeing other people during that time (like Lady Gaga, the Goo Goo Dolls, etc.), no music really hit me the way Fearless did.

During such a formative time in my life (any period where you’re wearing tie-dye jeans is a formative time in your life. I maintain that), Fearless helped me find my way in figuring out just how life and love worked. The songs were so earnest; some of them tugged at your heartstrings, some of them made me hate guys before I even knew anything about them other than the fact that they smelled, like, really bad, and some of them just put me in the best mood.

I played my Fearless CD INTO THE GROUND. I still know every single song by heart.

As I got a little older, Taylor and I’s relationship fizzled out. Yeah, there were a few songs from other albums of hers that I loved on-and-off, but when she switched to pop, I basically cut ties with her completely. We haven’t really spoken since.

So why am I regaling you with tales about my sappy middle school music taste? Because I did something that I probably wouldn’t have done until my cousin Grace (a fellow Fearless devotee) told me to. I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album, Lover.

I feel like I should also just tell you why I broke up with her in the first place. I felt like there wasn’t as much self-awareness or storytelling in her music. She sort of lost her persona, which used to be a sweet girl-next-door kind of thing that was actually really charming. After her switch to pop and her focus on her “reputation” with the whole Kanye feud that kicked off after the whole Kanye-snatching-her-wig-and-her-mic at the 2009 VMAs, I felt like she didn’t really have a brand anymore.

Not to mention, there were some REALLY bad songs coming out of her camp for a while there. “Bad Blood” made me want to crawl under a rock, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” made me want to never ever turn on the radio again, I absolutely couldn’t stand “Wildest Dreams” and for the love of all that is good and holy do NOT get me started on “Shake it Off.”

So, trust me, as a sworn Fearless fan, I have some thoughts about Lover. I am not a professional music reviewer, but (as you have probably deduced) because I have excellent and superior music taste, I will give you my verdict on this album.

First of all, if “I Forgot that You Existed” is about Kanye, then sis, let it go. Seriously. You are 30 years old and Kanye is a jackass. Everyone knows that. If it isn’t about Kanye, then I’ll say that I do like a good song for the haters. But I will go out on a limb and say that a better song to give the finger to her naysayers is “Mean” from her Speak Now album.

There were a couple songs that I was pleasantly surprised by, actually. I could feel a glimmer of hope while I was listening, because it reminded me of why I started to love Taylor in the first place: fun, honest lyrics and songs I could sing along to!

“London Boy” was a smash, dahling. I thought it was SO CUTE, also Idris Elba’s voice at the beginning? I AM SWEATING. PERIOD.

“Cruel Summer” was exactly what I needed from Taylor, music-wise. It had some great lines (“devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes”? I mean COME ON, that’s so fun!) and it felt like a grown-up pop song, but in a way that didn’t seem artificial like so much of her recent work.

Along with “Cruel Summer,” there were a couple of other fun sing-along pop songs on this album, like “Paper Rings” and “I Think He Knows.” I found myself smiling, actually smiling, when I was listening to them. I almost felt like I was back in middle school (except without the bad hair and angst)!

I also appreciated the emotional depth that I heard; I feel like it was a sort of course-correction as far as the content of her music. I know a lot of people had a case of the ass about how she always sang about guys, but I always thought that that was a big part of her charm for me, and I liked that these songs felt familiar, content-wise, but also more sophisticated as far as emotional depth.

And I bet that this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but “Soon You’ll Get Better” was probably my favorite song on Lover. And no, it isn’t because it was a return to her acoustic/country roots with the Dixie Chicks feature, but because I actually teared up when I heard it. And then also when I played it again. And again. I freaking LOVE when artists have that ONE song on their album that really just gets you right in the emotional gut. Ed Sheeran did it with “Small Bump”, “Afire Love” and “Supermarket Flowers”, and Lady Gaga did it with “Joanne.” Taylor herself did it with “Best Day” on Fearless, and songs like that end up being my favorites, because in the midst of the bops and the vibes are songs that catch you off guard. “Soon You’ll Get Better” sent me to Sad Boi Town, and I loved every second of it.

But…

Of course, because everyone’s a critic, I literally could not hate a song more than I hate “ME!” Even with the Brendon Urie feature.

I mean, “Me HEE HEE HOO HOO HOO…” as a lyric? THAT IS GENIUS, WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!?

Oh, right, because it sucks.

Also, I’m just so generally tired of “You Need to Calm Down.” I don’t care what you think about this song, I can’t take it anymore. I appreciate the sentiment behind it (we love supporting others and treating everyone with respect! A win for human decency everywhere!), but it just seemed like it was trying too hard. There, I said it.

But, I mean, if there are only two songs on the album that make me wish I didn’t have ears, then that’s got to be a good thing, right?

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with this album. I don’t feel like it was a return to the Fearless era, and I’m glad about that! Maybe I needed Fearless 10 years ago, but we’re all older now. Taylor’s music has evolved, and I’ve evolved too (exhibit A: I’m no longer wearing orange, Grinch-printed Converse). I don’t need music like that anymore. She’s got a more adult sound now, and as a sort-of adult myself, I appreciate that.  

So, if you haven’t already, go check Lover out, because I know that I feel like I caught a glimpse of who Taylor Swift has become, and I’m definitely liking what I’m seeing.

And who knows, maybe Taylor and I will get back together…

Your Reconsidering-Her-Musical-Relationship-Status Servant,

Em