And when you’re fifteen feeling like there’s nothing to figure out / Count to ten, take it in, this is life before you know who you’re gonna be / At fifteen.

Taylor Swift, “Fearless”

God, do you guys remember T-Swift’s “Fearless” era? When pretty much every song on that album was a banger?! I’m being flooded with memories, y’all. What a time, what a time, what a time.

ANYWAY…

Let’s talk about ~youth~.

Specifically, let’s remember back to being 15, kinda like the inclusion of the cheesy Taylor Swift lyric above implied we would be doing in this particular blog post.  

That’s such a weird age, isn’t it? 15? Like, you kinda know what you’re interested in, and you kinda are just getting to be okay with the fact that you’re in high school (gross. Though, to be fair, at the time it doesn’t really feel gross, because it’s your world. Funny how clear hindsight can be).

Maybe you’ve got a teen romance thing going. Maybe you’re learning how to drive. 

Well, I’m 25 now. That’s an entire decade older than 15. 

As in, 10 years. That’s an entire 5th grader’s life thus far.  

I’m in shock. 

Seriously. Don’t worry, I’m not having a quarter-life crisis or anything. I’m just in awe that it’s been 10 years since I was a nervous high schooler at 15, just trying to navigate life. 

Well, even though it’s probably listed in some blogger handbook somewhere as a faux pas, I’m going to do a birthday blog post (a few days late), because I’ve learned some lessons in the past 10 years that 15-year-old Emma would have benefited from. 

And, because I am 25 and very, very wise (a wise-ass, my grandfather would quip), I’d like to share some of these thoughts. Why should I hold onto all this wisdom alone?! 

Here goes. 

Stop plucking your eyebrows. We’re starting off with the details here (trust me, I’ll dig a little deeper as we move along, but I REALLY need to get this one out of the way first). Put those tweezers down. Your eyebrows are growing on your face the way they are supposed to. Unless you’re plucking away the crazy flyaways on your forehead, PUT THE TWEEZERS DOWN. NOW. (Sidebar: that was my alternate title to this blog post: “Put the tweezers down.”)

Don’t worry about being attractive to boys. Listen to me, Emma. You walk around with your friends thinking “guys are so gross,” while simultaneously dying to be attractive in their eyes. It’s so much more important that you accept and love yourself for who you are, on the good days and the bad days, rather than looking for that validation from men. You don’t need it to be beautiful; you’re already there. The only person that needs to see it and accept it wholeheartedly is you. 

And speaking of men, let me continue to burst your bubble: college guys are NOT that much different from high school boys. That’s what I was told, as a high schooler who never had a boyfriend: “Guys in high school are so immature. Just wait until college; things will be SO much better.” Yeahhhh, not quite. Everywhere you go, no matter their age, men will be difficult to deal with, especially in a romantic capacity. You don’t get to an age where you suddenly “level up” out of romantic difficulties, so put your big girl pants on and prepare to deal with it. It doesn’t get easier, sister. It just changes. 

Don’t view exercise as punishment. Think of it as self care. You will have such a healthier relationship with your body and its movement if you don’t worry about using exercise as a punishment for what you’ve eaten. Think of it as a routine self care activity, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Put a more positive spin on it. You’ll be happier and healthier for it. 

In that token…you will gain weight. And it won’t be the end of the world, even though right now at age 15, it feels like it might be. Your body isn’t meant to stay the same as you get older, so don’t expect it to, and don’t be afraid of that change. Embrace it,  and exercise gratitude for your body, because it’s the only one you will be given. 

Real friends are hard to come by, and as you get older, you really won’t have that many of them. And that’s okay. They’re a rare blessing, and while you may have lots of people that you get along with, can have fun with, and have a lot in common with, that doesn’t mean they are true, real friends. Cherish the ones that you WILL have. 

And again, in that same strain, be okay with being alone. You’ll spend a lot of time by yourself, and remember: having no friends is better than having bad friends. Be okay with that, and learn how to be friends with yourself: show up for yourself, listen to what your own body and your own soul need, and do your best to provide it. It’s hard to conceptualize that at 15, but at some point in everyone’s life, they have to learn to be good with being alone. 

Listen up, 15-year-old Emma: everything you hate about your body right now? None of it is going anywhere. You’ll always have those qualities (and the insecurities that go along with them), and all you can do is accept them. How do you do that? Girl, who the hell knows. I’m still learning that myself, and every day is another challenge when it comes to accepting all of me, but we’ve got to try. 

Be confident in your abilities. You’re a good writer. You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you don’t need to be. Some people just straight up don’t like tea, and if you ARE tea, then there’s no way you can satisfy someone that’s looking for a bottle of Mountain Dew. Hard work will always pay off, and so will authenticity. I’m still on that journey, so don’t worry if it takes a while. Good things take time, you know. 

Keep being kind. It’s better that people remember you for being kind over EVERYTHING ELSE. Sure, they’ll remember you for being tall. They’ll remember you for wearing leather pants and 5-inch heels to 10th grade English class on a Tuesday. But trust me: it’s better for them to remember you for being kind. 

Don’t get hung up on “standing out.” As the kids today say, you “glow different” when you’re happy with yourself. I know when I was 15, I wore all kinds of crazy clothes. Looking back, I’m not sure if it was to get attention or just to raise eyebrows, but either way, I marched to the beat of my own drum. And that’s never a bad thing, but don’t worry about always having to stand out. The people who matter will accept you, and the people who don’t, won’t. Focus on being the most authentic version of Emma possible, and everything else will follow. 

It’s a smattering of wisdom, to be sure. In the grand scheme of things, all previous drama aside,  10 years isn’t a long time. Fifth graders aren’t that old. Counting to 10 only takes, like, 10 seconds. 

But in those 10 years, I’ve had so many back-and-forths with accepting myself, as in, my personality, my body, my strengths, my weaknesses, all of it. 

When you’re 15, you don’t really have anything figured out.

At age 25, you still don’t really have anything figured out. Funny, that. 

But as time goes on and we all get older and wiser, sometimes taking a minute to talk to our younger selves can remind us how far we’ve come, and excite us for what’s on the horizon.

So, here’s to 25, people.