Since, genius that I am, I know everything there is to know about everything there is to know something about, let me lay a little bit of wisdom on you people.

I, as a woman between 6’2” and 6’3”, have witnessed first-hand the nastier sides of both tall and short men. As a tall woman, everyone always says that I should find a guy that’s EVEN TALLER than I am. Which actually cuts out a significant portion of the male population, but hey, who am I to question what society tells me I should do with MY personal life?

HOWEVER, I do think that short guys are an untapped gold mine, and if I had just gone about my tall-girl business, only trying my luck with guys taller than me, I wouldn’t have the vast knowledge and incredible wisdom that I have now.

So, you’re welcome.

Right now, though, I want everyone to know what goes on in my brain when it comes to analyzing male behavior based solely on their height.

Most of you have probably at least heard of the Napoleon Complex, if not experienced it directly yourself. If you haven’t, count yourself lucky because I swear there is nothing meaner than a short guy with an underlying inferiority issue.

Some of the symptoms include bragging about stupid stuff, like the car they drive (it’s probably too big for them, because, let’s face it, it’s very likely that they’re compensating for something), the amount of money they make, how many women they’ve slept with, yada yada yada.

Also, in my personal experience, guys who fit in with this stereotype tend to make everything a contest, talking over everyone and generally bulldozing the conversation. Is this a quality that is strictly relegated to short men? HELL NO, but hey, don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just reporting my experiences.

Now, you all probably have NOT heard of the Gaston Similarity.

That would be because I made it up.

We’ve all seen Beauty and the Beast, and we all have seen that Gaston is OBVIOUSLY a superior specimen, what with his thick neck and his description of himself as, oh, what was it again, “roughly the size of a barge”?

Gaston is also a douche. Duh, it’s like a whole plot point, him being a massive turd. But he was a tall guy, and very muscular, and his attempts to woo Belle fell woefully short. Of course, there was that business about him being a sexist pig and trying to lock her dad up, though, but that’s not important right now.

What’s important is that Gaston, tall, good-looking guy that he was, didn’t have to work at all to get the attention of the girls in the village. They swooned whenever he walked past, and he knew it. Which brings me to my point about the Gaston Similarity: sometimes, a tall guy feels like he doesn’t have to work as hard as a guy who maybe is shorter than him.

Symptoms include general laziness when it comes to dating or romance, or a sense of entitlement that radiates off of them like a noxious gas. We see this a lot in tall, athletically built people, like, for example, athletes (unprecedented, I know). It’s an ever-present arrogance that is a huge turn off, just as much of a turn off as a short guy trying to have the upper hand in every. Single. Situation. The tall guy just assumes that he has the upper hand already, which is honestly just as annoying.

Of course, it is important for me to note that not all short/tall guys have all of these qualities. Not all short men are insecure, and not all tall men feel entitled to whatever they want or feel like they don’t have to work for any attention. I’m just spitting from my own experiences which, unfortunate though they may be, pretty much make me a scientist about these sorts of things.

And again, you’re welcome.

So, basically, the counter to the Napoleon Complex would be heightened self-confidence and a sense of security and comfort in your body. I have met and gone on dates with short guys who are secure in their bodies, and let me just tell you, it is REFRESHING. And as for tall guys, understanding that being tall isn’t a character trait to bank on will get you a lot further than just assuming that you’ve got everything a girl could hope for.

Just giving everyone something to think about, and an insight into what rolls around in my brain when it comes to analyzing potential suitors (and THIS is why I am single, because this is how I talk about dating: “analyzing potential suitors.” Honestly, Emma!).

I’m not getting into any of my PERSONAL preferences, that’s a post for another time, but I will just say that being aware of these negative personality traits (either in yourself or in potential dates) will make you just one step closer to being a veritable genius like yours truly. So, for that information, once again…

…you’re welcome.

Your Uncommonly Insightful Servant,

Em

Gaston image courtesy of https://my-disney-villains.fandom.com/wiki/Gaston

Napoleon image courtesy of http://diaryofamadinvalid.blogspot.com/2018/06/interesting-little-known-facts-about.html